GETTING OFF THE JOHN FROM CINCINNATI

The eternal theological question is how can an omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent God permit evil and suffering. This question even has an entire branch of theology and philosophy dedicated to its resolution, Theodicy.

A corollary question is how can an omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent God permit the creation of a set of photons and electrons in the form of the cancelled HBO series “John From Cincinnati?”

SO MUCH FOR THEOLOGY AND JOHN FROM CINCINNATI.

HBO recently reran all 10 episodes of “John From Cincinnati” (JFC). The Author did not watch much of the original broadcast of JFC in the summer of 2007. The show was unfathomably confused and abstruse. Theo-gibberish, characters and dialogue that defied comprehension, and a family of surfing sociopaths that lie beyond any rationale for redemption. If an omnipotent, omniscient and benevolent God would seek out the Yost family for enlightnment and redemption, then eternal damnation would be a more deserving fate for the human species.

However, the Author decided to give JFC a fair shot. He watched all ten episodes as they were rebroadcast over that last two or three weeks. Condolences are in order.

The episodes were so disjointed that the Author thought the “final" (10th) episode was the penultimate episode. He tuned in the evening when he expected to see the "final" episode of JFC and found that the first episode of Deadwood was showing. The Author checked the HBO schedule and found that JFC had inconclusively (and mercifully) ended the prior evening.

MOTHER OF GOD, CASS-KAI, SHUT OFF AND DESTROY THAT FREAKING CAMERA!

PHOTONS AND ELECTIONS MAY COME AND GO. BUT THE DESERT OF THE REAL IS FOREVER!

THEM HOOSIER THRESHERS WAS SOME BAD MEN.

As many readers know, the Author’s hometown is Ligonier, Indiana. Ligonier is, contrary to common perception, a popular tourist destination. The Author recalls that in the 1970s all-expense paid stays in Ligonier were given as contest prizes. First prize winners were given a week’s stay. Second prize winners were awarded two weeks. Third-prize winners were given houses in Ligonier.

LIGONIER ADVANCE-LEADER, PROUD HOMETOWN PAPER.

The Editor of the Advance-Leader is Bob Buttgen. Buttgen received a Pulitzer Prize in 2002 for a series of articles disproving the reported UFO crashes near Roswell, New Mexico in 1947. Buttgen also received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1982 for his surrealist novel “The Nasty, Brutish, and Short Life of Barry Laker”.

ADVANCE-LEADER:FORWARD SLOUCHING, BACKWARD LOOKING.

Buttgen prepares a weekly column that looks back on important events in the Ligonier area. The snippets are gleaned from past editions of the Advance-Leader and are from newspaper editions 10, 25, 50, 75 and 100 years ago.

An interesting conspiracy was uncovered in the June 18th, 1908 edition. An economic crime beyond anything committed by JP Morgan or John D. Rockefeller. A deed heinous and almost ineffable.

A price-fixing scheme amongst area threshing machine owners.

The owners of threshing machines met Saturday and agreed in advance on the prices of threshing wheat and oats. Forty owners formed an association. They raised the price of threshing wheat from three cents to four cents and the price of threshing oats from two cents to two and one-half cents.

In plain and open sight, these smoke-wreaking scofflaws openly defied both Federal and State Anti-Trust Laws to fix the price of their services. (Were the Author’s ancestors members of the conspiracy? Hopefully.)

The Indiana Anti-Trust laws were passed only a year earlier, in 1907. Gee, you would have thought the enactment of these laws would have been in all of the papers. Or at least the Advance-Leader.

AIN’T GOD GOOD TO INDIANA? OR AT LEAST THAT LITTLE CORNER OF INDIANA THAT IS CONSIGNED TO A TWILIGHT ZONE-LIKE EXISTENCE IN THE DESERT OF THE REAL!